Since I was a young girl, I alway admire professionals with high salaries, 20 years old and above, for their independence, financial and social wise. they can buy the things they want, they can go whenever they desired to go. Moreover, bread winners’ decisions are somehow considered by the whole family, including the elders. For a middle-class teen-ager like me, professionals are worth emulating. I could not wait to be one.
I will be 20 24 hours from now. I will be graduating in less than 1 year. Unfortunately, I am feeling no sense of direction on my career. All I am thinking is to work in a call center. After I earned enough money, I will look for a job related to my field. Sigh. it took me 10 years of waiting to realize that I am hopeless. I was expecting that I am not the one who will look for an opportunity but an opportunity is going to hunt me.
Based on what I saw from movies, professionals are always in fashion in terms of their wardrobes and drink coffee in a coffee shop at breaks. I don’t know whether I am cursed or blessed because I ate in Sturbucks twice already. My mom kept those plastic cups from that expensive coffee shop as a souvenir. When I was young, I did not like to drink coffee, because my kindergarten teacher told us we should drink milk instead of coffee for some reasons but from the time that we drink coffee at starbucks, I drink coffee whenever it is available.
Daydreaming is one of my two preoccupation when I was younger. I could spend my whole day fantasizing ehat my future has in store for me. My other preoccupation is to study. I believed that if I am going to have high grades, different companies will ask me to be part of their work force. But now that I am 20, I easily got bored to think of the future. The Philippines has economic problems to be catered first rather to consider my career problem.
When I was in high school, boys I get introduced to ask me how many boyfriends I already had. When I stepped into college, they ask me if I am in a relationship. These days, the boys I meet ask me nothing. From an interesting person to a serious and boring one is a long way– descendencies.
I have this hypothesis that the most happy events in a woman’s life happen in her childhood days. how can someone explain to me that I do believed in fairies when I was in day care and yet I cannot imagine how there is a white lady in our house? When I was younger, I used to climb our stairs up jumping but now I think it is too foolish to do that. I think you will also agree.
It just started with the book "The Purpose-Driven Life". If I were a kid, I would dream to be a poet. I am just beginning to love eading as well as writing and here comes a laptop for e-books and word processores. Frustrated professional like me have no place in a poetic world. It is enough to drive a coffee lover into hopelessness. Such was the unfortunate situation I was when my ex-boyfriend broke-up with me. If there’s anything that can get me out of the practice of reverse psychology, it is nice. I waas shocked when he broke up with me when I told him it is ok with me if we break up if he loves somebody else because I want him to be happy. "Here comes your reverse psychology again" he said. Did I? Oh, yeah. Whoa! It just I did not want to be explicit. Explicitness is dangerous in any form of art and I am an artist! My ex-boyfriend, who is one year younger than me, can’t keep up with my reverse psychology prowess. I was a teen-ager reverse psychologist!
To get a high-paying job is like a success of our clan. College graduates in our family lead relatively young parenthood. My third degree female cousins got preggy when they were tierd of looking for job with reasonable salary. But that doesn’t bother me now. I enjoy life. I am now a poet without poetic licence. It is not the goal that matter but how you run the race of life.
I will be a UP graduate in less tahn one year. What do you expect from me?
