Watch my blood to flow..

ow men! words are flowing smoothly now. it runs through my fingers. the letters continuously flowing in the screen and it makes me feel good. i want to do this forever– living in the world of letters and words. i dont want to stop doing this. its like heaven. maybe im exaggerated sometimes but i know what im saying. i now know how to be a writer. One of the reasons that motivates me is i just read your blog and it inspires me to write. i caught myself imagining that it is your love letter for me. i cant get the way you write out of my head. it changes my life. you inspire me to be like you. i know i will be able to see you once again at school but i dont want to be excited because i know i doesnt matter to you. i will see you smiling at me once again. i will meet you in the carabao park but we do not have appointment with each other. You will just pass by. just a smile. maybe ill be lucky if you will smile, because most of the time, you are not smiling. its just because you didn’t notice me or im hiding so that you will not see me. i dont want to be excited because i dont want to get disappointed of the possibility you will not do what i want you to do.. to smile. your nose is what i like most. your apple-shape lips makes me shiver when it stretches itself wide. i love it more when it is wider. i wish i can be the one to witness the widest smile of yours. your teeth are shining. like my knight in an armor that crosses on my road. when will i hear your hi? or hello? or "kamusta"? but it is ok even if you dont say a word. its just i will not contain the joy i will be feeling when you talk. so its better if you will not talk. im happy and contented our roads crossed.

im running out of words to say and i think i must have time to rest– a mental rest. the word factory is closing. but i will not permit it. word factory must be open 24hours. i dont want to feel again the feeling that can kill me. now im going back to the thought that i like you. i dont know why so you must not ask me about it. im expecting more than your smile. But you think im too assuming? you are rocking my world, you know that? i know you not. forgive me if im askin’. i just wish i made a step before. when we were together and conversing with each other about christian lives and the same matters. even if our culture forbids it. i know you will be reading this blog in the future. i can be too defensive when you ask me who is the man im talking about. of course i will. it just im following the voice whisphering to me every now and then. the voice that moves me and the voice that hinders me. the voice that moulds me. it is where my decisions are based. it is the one that encourages me. it is the source of my strength. the one that is keeping me going. and it whispers to me while i write.

there is another voice that whispers but it whispers the all the way around. i hope time will not come that i will become confused on which voice i must listen. i dont want to forget how to be a writer.